Is it illegal to drive naked?

Is it illegal to drive naked in Australia? In terms of specific statutes, the answer is no, it’s not defined as illegal, but perhaps that’s because driving naked - particularly in a country like Australia where seat leather can reach the kind of temperatures that could damage dangling genitalia - is so obviously a bad idea that no one bothered to codify it.

In terms of indecent exposure more generally, however, not to mention general etiquette, driving naked is definitely frowned upon - and possibly more so by police than other drivers.

Laws regarding driving naked in Australia do not specifically exist, although they are effectively part of catch-all statutes such as indecent exposure laws.

Displaying your private parts on your private property, out of public view, is completely legal in the eyes of the law and will not land you in a prison jumpsuit to cover up your exposed organs. However, once the added element of vehicular transport enters the equation, things get messier than Argentina's God of football.

Yes, your car is your private property, but roads are, by their inherent nature, a public place and one you’d be exposing yourself in if you chose to drive on them naked.

Aside from the obvious question of why you would want to do this - your dog ate your clothes, you just forgot - there’s also the question of a reasonable person’s point of view.

From a distance, or even sitting next to one in traffic, a naked person might simply look like they are going shirtless, at least in this country, where you are not allowed to remove the doors of your Jeep Wrangler and drive around in a naked vehicle.

Still, it’s important to note that to drive naked is to risk a violation of public indecency that, depending on the state, can result in a hefty fine, jail time, and looks of horror and disgust from elderly strangers.

Again, the public would have to see that you’re being indecent for this to happen, and while I’m not suggesting it, I think it’s quite likely you could get away with a bit of butt-naked driving if you were careful, particularly when getting in and out of the vehicle.

Avowed nudists reading this article are, by now, no doubt wondering how the punishments for public indecency differ from state to state.

In NSW the Summary Offences Act 1988 defines the offence of exposing genitals in a public place or a school as punishable with up to six months’ jail time or a fine of $1100. Specifically it says that “a person shall not, in or within view from a public place or a school, wilfully and obscenely expose his or her person”.

If a driver is found to have broken this law, and this will very much come down to the discretion of a police officer, they really could go to jail.

Victoria similarly prohibits such activity and defines 'public places' more extensively, specifically referring to roads as a space of public use, and the maximum punishment for exposure in those places is a more hefty penalty of two years of prison time.

Intentional displaying of nudity in Queensland, Northern Territory and South Australia - or performing an indecent act, in the opinion of the arresting officer - is similarly punishable with fines up to $2500, or a year in prison in certain cases where the exposure is defined as being “aggravated” (I assume this refers to cases of naked road rage, which sound very ugly indeed).

What about driving shirtless? Say, on a return trip from the beach (and let’s face it, Australia can be very hot and some people can barely walk around the block these days without taking their shirts off in summer) or a session of Turkish Oil Wrestling (wrestling oil can ruin clothes)?

It is here that we run into the question of context, because police officers are mostly not going to throw the law book at someone for driving shirtless, but if they are pulled over - and quite possibly this is more likely if the shirtless driver is a woman - the reason they give for doing so will be quite important in establishing context. Driving topless might be allowed, on a hot day, but it might draw more attention to you in the middle of winter.

So, what have we learned? Nude driving can get you into trouble with the police, might get you fined or jailed, but this is quite unlikely.

Researching this article forced me to purge my internet search history (seriously, be careful what you click on when researching driving naked).

Can you drive naked? Sure, if you’re willing to accept the possible associated public indecency risks. Should you drive naked? That’s the more serious question and one you’ll have to ponder yourself.