Why is mum teaching us how to drive?

Of course, I could be wrong. Our countless readers may actually be in search of stock market tips, winter recipe suggestions, deals on mixed wine dozens or knitting patterns (actually, if you want that sort of stuff, see The Sydney Morning Herald's Drive Life section every Friday - you'll find bugger all to do with cars).

Apparently we can't be sure you're interested in cars because no study has been undertaken. And we wouldn't want to negate the existence of marketing forms and telephone research, would we?

See, I've also a faint notion that teaching pilots to fly is more effective than just showing them a picture of a crash and exhorting: ``Mind you youngsters don't go and do that, eh? Now here's your wings, and chocks away!''

But I can't be certain, because there's no body of scientifically substantiated data to show that training pilots is actually necessary.

``Don't be moronic,'' I hear you say. ``It's black and white.''

But in that case, shouldn't the principle apply to L-platers?

``Of course,'' you say. As would I.

But we're all wrong.

Australia's state licensing authorities such as Roads Traffic Authority (or Road Tolls Authority as we in NSW call it) will point to overseas research that has somehow succeeded in proving that teaching people to drive makes them more likely to have an accident.

There's a steaming, great pile of this stuff on my desk provided by the RTA. The learned conclusion is that knowledge is dangerous thing. Driving around the block with mum a few hundred times is all the experience you need.

Um, okay. But aren't you more likely to live to an experienced age if you learn the survival skills taught by educators? You know the sort of thing they have in first world countries as part of the high school curricula?

You know, like braking effectively; setting mirrors so you can see with them; going around a corner, not off it; and even strapping on a belt properly. Basic survival techiniques, in other words.

But this is all wrong, apparently. A senior RTA person told me driver training would only serve to place the learner in greater danger.

My face fell. His stayed straight.

So what next? Ban brakes because they only encourage speeding?